Bješe 1723. Mjestašce bez imena – pored nekog šumarka, daleko od seoceta… Pala svjetlost uz sijede lasi čovjeka – na starca u ritama, koji je podno bagrema za sva vremena usnio…
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Kada su sišli po njega, vaznijela mu se duša. Otela od smrti. Nije pustio riječ, mogao je samo da zuri u ta prelijepa lica. Ništa nalik njima nije spoznao… I miris mahovine… posvuda. Raširili su ruke i krila, usana razvučenih u osmjeh sreće bez premca – kao kad žena posle previše čekanja umajči čedo. Toliko im je značio. Toliko im je trebao.
– Vrijeme je. – pomilovali su mu kosu koja je iz staračke prelazila u gustu, zrelu – Stupi u svjetlost, brate. – rekoše.
Htio je, više od svega… ali, morao je da pokuša.
– Ne, dok ne vidim arhanđela. – shvati da mu je glas čistiji, a riječi razgovjetnije. Umjesto rupa, zubi su se vratili na pređašnja mjesta.
– Kako želiš. – nakloniše se, a jedan od njih nestade u stubu plavičastom, dok su ostali plešući nadlijetali mjesto gdje je umro.
– Dobrodošao brate. – lјepoti njegovoj nije bilo premca. Brada mu se njihala iako nije bilo vjetra. Bio je veći od tri, možda i četiri metra, a krila su mu bila uz leđa… lebdio je tik iznad zemlјe, lat do njega.
– Ti si… predivan. – suze mu potekoše od časnote koju je lučio – Tako si brzo došao. Hvala ti.
– Hvala tebi. – arhanđel se nakloni – Raj te čeka. – pokaza put jugoistoka, iznad neba – Hoćemo li brate?
Shvati da mu se koža zategla, da mu u ruke priliva snaga… istovremeno je razumio i sledeće, ako sada ode – otišao je. I neće ga više biti briga.
– Sačekaj… – dodirnu mu ruku, prikaz svijeta krasnijeg od krasnog mu se ukaza. I grad prepun anđela. Udahnu želјan da ode tamo odmah, ali skloni prste, da ga vizija ne omami – … Moram nešto da te pitam.
– Kazuj brate?
– Koji sam JA po redu? Koliko ih je pošlo ovog lјeta?
– Dvadeset treći od lani. – arhanđel mu skloni rite sa leđa i pomilova ramena. Krila počeše da mu rastu. Draži osjećaj mrtvo čelјade ne može okusiti. – Zašto pitaš?
– Tek dvadeset treći?! U dvije godine?! – pokušavao je da drži oči otvorene i da ostane pribran… ali teško bješe da se odupre blaženstvu – To je nedovolјno. To je tako nedovolјno!
– Znam. – i anđeli što su kružili, rastužiše se – Sve manje svijeta odlazi gore… a sve više naroda umire bez duše. Tako zauvijek nestanu.
– Ne umiju više da je nađu brate! Nije to lak način.
– Zbilјa? – prvi od anđela se nasmija i dodirnu mu dva sitna mladeža ispod lijevog oka, znak da je duša u tog čovjeka bila čista – A kako si ti pronašao svoju onda?
– Lako… – zabrinu se da time što će reći ne poremeti ono što je kanio da zamoli – … Bila je tamo gdje se svima nalazi. Tri koraka od mjesta gdje si …
– … zaštitio nekoga ko je patio. – arhanđel zajedno sa njim dovrši rečenicu pa se nasmija. – Vidiš, znao si. Uvijek je tamo. Oduvijek je tako. Nadohvat.
– Da, ali lјudi su zaboravili! – sad već osjeti da je i sam anđeoski izrastao, jer ga je gledao bliže. Neće biti njegove visine nikad, ali sigurno je duplo stasitiji nego što je kao čovjek bio – Vidiš i sam da sve manje lјudi odlazi u Raj.
Tuga i briga, poput srođenog barjaka, umahaše lice arhanđela. Klonu mu svjetlost za težak ton: – Vidim brate. Vidim. Ali nemaju dušu. A bez duše nema Raja.
– Molim te… – zagrli ga oko struka – … Molim te poslušaj me. Zaboravili su gdje se nalazi. Svi. I biće još gore. Naučili su da žive bez nje. Navikli su na tjeskobu, da osuđuju, da se rugaju, da dobro ne čine… i najmanja od djece su postala gadna. Takvi budu i kada odrastu. Bezumniji čak.
– Šta onda predlažeš brate?
– Nađi jednostavniji način. Neka im duša bude bliže. Odmah po rođenju neka je dobiju.
– Kako misliš? – podiže se sa njim iznad zemlјe – Duša se mora predati sama. Da sklizne. Ne možemo je na silu ubacati u čovjeka.
– Pusti neka obitava u mjehuru trudnice. Neka tamo čeka dok se dijete ne rodi. Čim beba zakmeči i stomak napusti neka mu je sama mati preda.
– Hm. – jednom rukom se pomilova po bradi, dok je drugom lagano držao čovjeka koji je lagano spoznavao mogućnost leta – Dobro… možda bi i moglo. Kad odem do Gospoda zamoliću ga. Nego, kako ćemo ispoštovati svete principe? Oba.
– Misliš “mjesto tvorbe i broj do nje”? – arhanđel klimnu.
– Mjesto imamo… neka se duša začne pri plodu, odmah. A što se broja tiče… – tapnu se do brade – … Neka bude onoliko minuta koliko smo mi razgovarali sada. Deset?
– Deset, a? Može! Hoću. Zamoliću ga. – klimnu pa se svaki ton svjetla opet javi – Idemo sada. Uđi brate u svjetlost i pođi gdje ćeš da živiš ushićen zauvijek!
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Ako se pitate da li je ovo istina.. reći ću vam – veće od nje nema! Arhanđel je odmah otišao do Gospoda. Ispričao mu sve kako jeste i šta je bolјa namjera. Bog ga je poslušao i učinio izrečeno. No kako svaka izmjena “mjesta tvorbe duše, i broja do nje” podrazumijeva promjenu hilјade kosmosa – za tu cijenu je arahanđel predao svoje postojanje. Tako je bilo 1723. (prema kalendaru čovjeka)… i duša je od tada bliža lјudima.
No… u Raj ih i danas, ma u času ovom, sve manje ide?! Nikoliko zapravo.
Zašto, čudite se?
Elem… Čim beba izađe, udahne i zakmeči… duši treba deset minuta da kroz vrpcu iz majke u dijete pređe. Avaj, pupčano predivo kidaju mnogo prije.
Zato smo ovakvi. Dušu nismo ni dobili! Iscurila je na presječenom kraju i nestala.
Sve zbog previše minuta i nestrplјivih akušera… a bila nam je nadohvat.
Milisav S. Popović
Uvijek ostanem bez teksta…kad naidjes na mudrost,tisina je jedini odgovor.
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